My God Encounter

Frankie’s Encounter

Losing my father to cancer at the age of 8 was tough on me and my family. My mother did her best at raising 2 boys and 1 girl while working full time and trying to keep herself sane. At the age of 11, I fell in love with Hip Hop. It had everything I wanted: Drugs, Sex, Partying…etc. I thought this was what life was supposed to be like for a young Latino growing up on the streets of Chicago.

At the age of 16, I got invited to a youth outreach program to play basketball and sit through a short bible study. I had never been to a Christian event before this. The program became a regular part of my week because I loved to play basket and meet new people. For the next 5 years I found myself getting more involved in the local church-I was leading bible studies, volunteering at the church, and going on retreats and camps. This became the new thing that gave me identity and purpose, but during those 5 years I also led a secret life, where I still got drunk, smoked weed, and slept around. I could be one person with the church and get accepted, and another person on the streets and be accepted there. Pursuing women became “my thing.” I spent my time chasing both girls that were both in the world and in the church. I dated a girl for 4 ½ years, and was all along cheating on her with any girl I was attracted to.

There were times I would feel guilty and try to stop, but I couldn’t. It was like I was in bondage to this, and being at the bars and clubs kept me in my bondage. I would meet girls on Saturday night, go home with them, wake up Sunday morning and go to church-it was my regular routine. Like most people living a double life, I longed for a chance to start over. I used to think about moving to another state where no one knew me-where I could start with a fresh reputation (either as a Man of God or a regular Joe in the world)-I just wanted a fresh start because I felt I was too deep into this double life to give one up. I was forced to lie to myself about my lifestyle: I thought, “It’s ok to do the things I’m doing because I’m still a Christian. I’m just not like those Christians because their lives are boring.” Selfishness was my only help!

At the age of 21, my double life finally caught up with me. My girlfriend of 4 ½ years told me she was pregnant. I had no idea what to do. I was about to be exposed before the world and the church. Everyone was finally gonna find out the truth that I was a FAKE! It brought so much shame and it was the only time in my life that I ever thought about suicide in order to run from the shame I was about to experience. It was hard exposing myself to my family and loved ones. 3 months into the pregnancy she told me she had lost the baby. I instantly felt in my spirit that God was giving me a “wake up call.” I had finally been exposed and everyone knew I was a fake, so I could start over, start fresh!

I soon found myself among some Christians that weren’t like some of the Christians I grew up with, who were living double lives. They were fully committed, fully devoted to Jesus! I was instantly drawn to that. I wanted it! I wanted the Gospel to be as real in my life as it was in theirs. I began fellowshipping with them on a regular basis. Bible study, church services, shooting pool, game nights…anything they were doing, I wanted to do, because they had what I had subconsciously been seeking all along without even realizing it-a real relationship with Jesus!

Repentance towards God is the first thing I learned. When I was living like a hypocrite I spent so much energy trying not to sleep around, not to get drunk, not to be around the wrong crowd-not to sin. I realized I wasn’t spending any energy moving towards God. I had no energy left because I had spent it all trying not to sin. I was faced with the need to make a choice, “Am I gonna continue to live a life of sin knowing that God is not pleased with me and not be completely sure if I’ll ever get to Heaven, or I could totally surrender my life to God and follow Jesus with everything I am? Am I going to continue to let the devil steal, kill & destroy my life or will I finally choose to experience life…an abundant life, the way Jesus intended it?”

Pursuing Jesus Christ is the only way to truly be free from sin!

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